There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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