Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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