dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
