Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
This baby is an asshole
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize