i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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