She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
