just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
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