he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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