Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
