do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize