If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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