he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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