She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
