Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Randomize
