Having a random hookup so left but love u
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
