So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
