ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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