She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
