He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
