just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
