i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
