i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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