i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
