We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
