You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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