i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
