Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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