I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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