ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
