so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
