What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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