office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Randomize
