pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
