u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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