I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
