I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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