This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
