M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
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