You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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