One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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