walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
