You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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