I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
