hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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