sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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