Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
