my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
