Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
