I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
