Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
