sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
