I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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