i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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