Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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