ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
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