I just saw a hot homeless man
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
