I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
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