Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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