so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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