I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
