His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Randomize
