i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
