don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
