I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Boobs speak an international language.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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