In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
