based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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