And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
