she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
