Having a random hookup so left but love u
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
