My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
