Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
