If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
