i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
