i just had sex bonerless
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
