Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize