forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
You are the jesus of drinking
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
