But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
