We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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